Extra Special Bonus Entry!

Of all the drinks readers suggested I try out on both of my articles, the Screaming Viking sits up there with the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from HHGTTG and the Lawnmower from the Simpsons. What you may not know, however, is that all three of those drinks were on my initial list before I went out to get the ingredients. I passed on the PGGB because the ingredients don’t exist on this shit-ass planet. I also passed on the Lawnmower because wheatgrass juice is hard to find and also its disgusting.  I did, however, mix and taste the Screaming Viking from Cheers. Of course I did. Everybody knows the Screaming Viking. Here’s the issue with that entry, though. While we know it’s a drink everyone tries on the show, they never say the ingredients. We only know that there is a cucumber involved.

Cucumber_BNCSlightly bruised.

So when I put the drink together, I found a recipe online that told you how to make it. But what the hell do they know? When you search for Screaming Viking recipe on Google, you find that every Tom, Dick and Harry have come up with their own variation. I would never know if mine was the real one the characters tasted. But I wrote it up so I figured what the butt? Post it here for anyone who ever wanted to know what some guy thought of a drink that may or may not exist. So here she is:

The Screaming Viking – Cheers


You all remember this classic episode of Cheers. It’s the one where they make a friendly wager. No, the other one where they make a friendly wager. No, the other one…forget it. In this episode, a new bartender named Wayne says he can make any drink known to man. The Cheers crew bet him that if they can find a drink he can’t make, he’ll have to quit. Enter the Screaming Viking.

The Cocktail

This is a drink where the recipe is not explicitly stated on the show. However, Food and Wine magazine has a recipe which is the generally accepted version of this drink.

Ingredients: from Food and Wine

1 Piece of seedless cucumber, plus 1 cucumber slice for garnish
5 mint leaves
1 1/2    ounces gin
4 to 5 ounces chilled tonic water

See that boxing glove there? I used it to bruise the daylights out of those cucumbers. As the recipe calls for, of course. This one was almost like if you mixed a typical gin and tonic with that cucumber water they have in the waiting room before you get a massage. That is to say, not terrible. I sipped at that a bit before adding the mint and it was a pleasant experience. But then I added the grinded up mint leaves and it completely ruined the integrity of the drink. Maybe you’re not supposed to grind up mint leaves or maybe my pallet just doesn’t like all of these conflicting flavors but something about it was keeping me from enjoying it after the mint. I guess I’m going to go with the status quo on this one.

screenshot004 S06E01 – Home is the Sailor

So there it is. I may or may not have tried a Screaming Viking and I may or may not have enjoyed it.

Stand-Up show – Tuesday May 5

I was chosen to perform with Philly’s best local stand-ups at Helium Comedy Club

2031 Sansom Street
Philadelphia, PA 19103

You can get tickets right here. I’ve never done this before and, depending on how it goes, I may never do it again. Don’t miss this maybe once in a lifetime opportunity probably. I’m just kidding. You can miss this opportunity if you want. I’m not your dad, I can’t tell you what to do.


– Germ

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Hey! Watch our new Titanic video, you big idiot! I’m sorry. That’s rude. PLEASE watch our new titanic video, you piece of shit.

Titanic – Rose DeWitt Bukater is a Bitch


Two bystanders during the sinking of the Titanic discuss Rose DeWitt Bukater’s flaws.

Written by Erik Germ

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Directed by
Devon Fahy

Filmed by
Patrick Fahy

Megan and Menace Morning Show Game



New Series – The HugeFrigginUpdate

Hate watching the news? Allow HugeFrigginArms to bring you the important stuff when YOU need it! Go watch the HugeFrigginUpdate!

The HugeFrigginUpdate – Episode 1


Welcome to the first episode of The HugeFrigginUpdate. Allow our host Joseph Dempsey to take you through the biggest news stories of the month. Well, not the biggest stories..but any news story we think we can make a joke or two out of. This episode’s topics: A two ton lollipop, Carly Rae Jepsen’s nude photo leak, and the 2012 London Olympics. All this and more in this episode of The HugeFrigginUpdate.

Tournament of Flash Artists

If you didn’t know, the reason I create things for the internet is almost completely because of Continue reading

Huffington Post

My most recent cracked article was featured on the Huffington Post. That’s like, the gnarliest of the gnar.


Anyway, whats up with you?