ErikGerm

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Of all the drinks readers suggested I try out on both of my articles, the Screaming Viking sits up there with the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster from HHGTTG and the Lawnmower from the Simpsons. What you may not know, however, is that all three of those drinks were on my initial list before I went out to get the ingredients. I passed on the PGGB because the ingredients don’t exist on this shit-ass planet. I also passed on the Lawnmower because wheatgrass juice is hard to find and also its disgusting.  I did, however, mix and taste the Screaming Viking from Cheers. Of course I did. Everybody knows the Screaming Viking. Here’s the issue with that entry, though. While we know it’s a drink everyone tries on the show, they never say the ingredients. We only know that there is a cucumber involved.

Cucumber_BNCSlightly bruised.

So when I put the drink together, I found a recipe online that told you how to make it. But what the hell do they know? When you search for Screaming Viking recipe on Google, you find that every Tom, Dick and Harry have come up with their own variation. I would never know if mine was the real one the characters tasted. But I wrote it up so I figured what the butt? Post it here for anyone who ever wanted to know what some guy thought of a drink that may or may not exist. So here she is:

The Screaming Viking – Cheers

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You all remember this classic episode of Cheers. It’s the one where they make a friendly wager. No, the other one where they make a friendly wager. No, the other one…forget it. In this episode, a new bartender named Wayne says he can make any drink known to man. The Cheers crew bet him that if they can find a drink he can’t make, he’ll have to quit. Enter the Screaming Viking.

The Cocktail

This is a drink where the recipe is not explicitly stated on the show. However, Food and Wine magazine has a recipe which is the generally accepted version of this drink.

Ingredients: from Food and Wine

1 Piece of seedless cucumber, plus 1 cucumber slice for garnish
5 mint leaves
Ice
1 1/2    ounces gin
4 to 5 ounces chilled tonic water
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See that boxing glove there? I used it to bruise the daylights out of those cucumbers. As the recipe calls for, of course. This one was almost like if you mixed a typical gin and tonic with that cucumber water they have in the waiting room before you get a massage. That is to say, not terrible. I sipped at that a bit before adding the mint and it was a pleasant experience. But then I added the grinded up mint leaves and it completely ruined the integrity of the drink. Maybe you’re not supposed to grind up mint leaves or maybe my pallet just doesn’t like all of these conflicting flavors but something about it was keeping me from enjoying it after the mint. I guess I’m going to go with the status quo on this one.

screenshot004 S06E01 – Home is the Sailor

So there it is. I may or may not have tried a Screaming Viking and I may or may not have enjoyed it.

A Quick Prediction about The Watch

So, have you seen the trailer for The Watch starring Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Jonah Hill and Richard Ayoade? I’ll see it. I’ll see that movie. And I’ll tell you why. Because, in a totally manly way, I love Richard Ayoade.

Continue reading

Hunger LAMES – This Film Was Made 12 Years Ago

By Erik Germ

I will not be reading or seeing the Hunger Games. It may be a cool book and Suzanne Collins may even be a competent writer. I won’t ever know. I’m sick of telling people I don’t support this series and them backing off as if I just told them I want to be the next Hitler. Continue reading

6 Lovers Quarrels (That Got Totally Out Of Hand)

By Erik Germ

 

We all get into little tiffs now and again. It’s a part of every relationship. Continue reading

Tales from the Frat – The Scary Labor Day Horror Story…or some shit

By Frat-boy Fred

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Chatroulette – Why You Should Feel Bad For Being A Dude

By Erik Germ

 

It was a Saturday night teenage Erik Germ might have been familiar with. I was home alone, there was nothing to do and I had napped as much as I could. I began to wonder what I should do after I polished off the Wawa classic hoagie I was eating. Continue reading

Hipsters and the things they ruined for us.

 

By Erik Germ

Do you hate hipsters? Of course you do! Everyone hates hipsters! Not just because they look stupid or because they don’t contribute to society at all. We hate them because it’s easy. Continue reading

The Pixar Film CARS 2 is so very wrong and here is why

By Ryboflavin

Let me start off by saying that it pains me to write this article. I love the Pixar films and let it be known that in my shared opinion, Pixar is most likely the greatest studio in the history of motion pictures. Continue reading

Part One

By Erik Germ

 

He woke up with a start. Even though His eyes were open, He couldn’t see. Waving His hand in front of Him was useless; for some reason, He couldn’t lift His arm. He was sweating now. Continue reading

[car] Laws We’re All Sick Of People Breaking

By Erik Germ

 

I can’t be the only one. The only guy who sits in his car seething for 70% of every drive he makes wishing every other motorist on the road was dead. Continue reading