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Tales from the Frat – The Scary Labor Day Horror Story…or some shit

By Frat-boy Fred

Yo, this is SRSLY like the fucking craziest shit I ever seen.

So this guy is like all pissed off cause it’s like, labor day weekend or some shit? And he  was supposed to go down the shore or to like a party or some fucking thing. Anyway, his boss  is all like “Everyone else is away, I need you to close up tonight BRAW BRAW BRAW.” And the  guy’s super pissed off cause some of his co-workers are gonna be at the party. Right, okay  so it wasn’t the shore he was going to. Okay, now I remember. It WAS a party. Anyway, his  co-workers are gonna be there and he’s wicked pissed off that like, he didn’t think to  request off for the night and this party is supposed to be tight as a mosquito’s asshole. So  he’s all like “FUCK!” And the boss doesn’t give a shit. He’s got his own shit going on that  night. That new place next to Office Depot opened up and he wants to take his wife and his  kid but his kid doesn’t want to go cause theres some show on that he wants to watch. But I  got news for you, you little shit. You’re going to this place and you’re going to like it.  Your dad is paying for you to eat so show some fucking respect.

So the guy is working at the store and it’s super slow cause it’s a holiday weekend and all,  right? They don’t have a TV and his phone is dying and he forgot his charger cause his mind  was occupied about having to work and I guess he just left it on his bed. Actually, I think  his charger ends up being in his car which is like, really ironic for some reason in the  context of the rest of the story. I’ll get to that later, though. So homeboy is listening to  the radio. The antenna is all shitty and it’s coming in with a bunch of static but hey, it  fucking beats standing there in silence, you know? So the song ends and a news report comes  on saying this madman escaped from a mental hospital. The dude starting listening hard cause  the mental hospital is like RIGHT down the street!!! The dude on the radio is all, “Yea, the  mad man whos name is Ralph or some shit, was seen running towards the main dude’s store!” He  didn’t say ‘the main dude’s store.’ He said, like, the direction of the store, but for the  story I added that in. Use your imagination, you fuck.

Just when the news is gonna explain what the crazy guy looks like, that fucking piece of  shit antenna that’s making everything come in as static gets really bad cause it starts  raining out. OH SNAP! SHIT JUST GOT REEEEEALLLLL. So the dude. I’m sick of calling him the  dude and the main dude. His name was like Dwight or Kevin or something. So Kevin is smacking  the radio trying to figure out what the maniac looks like and it FUCKING SHUTS OFF! He broke  it! So now he’s got no radio and he’s all alone in the store. Thats when a dude comes  running down the road across the street. He’s like, you know, running and being all shady  and he turns towards the store cause he sees the lights on. And he goes running for the  front door! Dwight is fucking creeped out cause like WHY WAS HE RUNNING, you know? So the  creepy dude comes in and is like “SHUT OFF THE LIGHTS AND LOCK THE DOOR!”

Oh fuck, lets all take a deep breath. Shit’s starting to get out of hand here.

Ok. Allright. Let’s do this.

So Kevin is like, “WHo are you? Get out!” and a bunch of stuff and the running dude is like  “There’s an escaped mental patient and he’s got a knife ahhhhh! He’s been seen on this  street! You gotta hide!” So Dwight’s all like “Shit, I don’t wanna die!” So they turn off  the lights and lock the door and peek out the window down the street.


Another dude starts hammering on the outside window! Slamming his fists BOOM BOOM BOOM all  over the front window. Kevin and the running dude jump back cause it surprised them and they  see that his fists are leaving blood on the windows. Motherfuckers got blood all over his  hands! Luckily, the windows are like bulletproof and shit so there’s no way the escaped  mental patient is getting in. So Dwight takes out his phone to call the cops and it’s  fucking dead! If only he knew that his charger was in the car the whole time! See? I told  you that would come back.

So him and the stranger are trapped in the store with the maniac outside slamming on the  windows and yelling! He’s yelling some crazy shit, too. The guys inside can’t hear it cause  like the windows are so thick. So Kevin’s all like “Do you have a phone?” And the dude  inside is like, “No, all I have is this.” And he takes out a fucking bloody knife.

So Dwight’s like “NOOOO! THIS DUDE WAS THE MENTAL PATIENT THE WHOLE TIME!” The knife dude  starts stepping closer and Kevin is trying to see his face but it’s like too dark. He looks  out the window and the guy out there has a sad look on his face and it’s like HE WAS TRYING  TO WARN YOU, DUDE. NICE GOING! And the knife dude steps into the light and Kevin see’s that  the mental patient has his face. And then Dwight realizes that HE IS THE ESCAPED MENTAL  PATIENT! OH FUCK! He’s not in the store. He doesn’t work in a store. The whole story was in  his head.

Pretty fuckin’ wild, right? Good story. Pass it on to 25 people in the next 3 minutes or  Dwight will come into your room on Labor day and hit you with his knife.

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